Over the weekend, I began yoga teacher training or YTT. Part of our program is journaling throughout the process and since I am always looking for things to write here, I will be posting my thoughts on the given topics as we move through the 6 months of study!
So, how am I feeling? OVERWHELMED. I don't mean this in a completely negative way, though. I just feel as if I have been dropped into the ocean, far from shore and have to swim back. It is daunting, thrilling and exhausting. I have so much to read, write and do between now and April. It sounds silly because, duh, I have a lot of time to do all these things between now and April, too. But, man. It is overwhelming the amount of work I will be doing in order to become the best teacher possible.
It is also overwhelming to actually teach a pose. I have spent 6 years on my mat, speaking yoga through my body. Now, to stand in front of people and to direct them to a pose, to breathe and to use actual words and not just my body? It feels like learning Arabic. I know that it will get easier over time but the knots in your stomach those first few times are overwhelming. I did not think this would be easy but it is much more difficult than I ever thought it would be.
This process is taking a commitment. I am going to have to work hard and push through things. I am going to have to give myself the space to study and read and write and practice. That is a big deal.
One thing I do have in my favor is that there are 8 other souls lifting me up and attempting to move themselves forward. They are all lovely people who I know I am going to lean on and lift up over the course of these months. I love them and believe the universe brought them to me for this exact purpose. They are going to teach me so much.
So, just like anything, I have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I know this is going to be hard, but it is going to be worth it.