For When Things Are Overwhelming.

Feeling out of control sucks. The Buddhist have it figure out though, because they believe that control is all an illusion anyway. We are never actually in control, we are just finding comfort in the belief that we are in control. It is not actual control. Dude, I know, just thinking about this is giving me the beginnings of a deep panic attack. Like, thanks a whole lot. The world is actually just constant chaos? I am supposed to find this comforting.

Well, the Buddhists would say that comfort is an illusion, too. So, what do they know anyway?

Lately, with the passing of time in my face and the endless barrage of bad news and heartbreaking pictures, with human suffering just a click away on the news or the suffering and need of friends in your timeline, it can feel as if we are all just stuck in a tragedy tornado. It can feel as if the pain in the world is bottomless.

It can turn me into a raw nerve. I get overwhelmed with the problems to be solved, the breaks to mend, the people to comfort. Lying down on my office floor and waiting for gravity to crush me feels like all I might be capable of. The next steps feel unclear. The amount I am able to give or do feels like a drop in the bucket of the ocean of pain, suffering and chaos. It is overwhelming. I could just let it swallow me.

But I am reminded that I also believe that even though the ocean of pain in the world seems bottomless, it is not. It is the ocean of love that truly is bottomless. Love is more powerful. Love is more powerful. Love is more powerful. 

It may not be able to save all those innocent babies in Syria, in the oceans off of Europe, at least not right away. It may not be able to bring back a friend's beloved aunt who recently died of cancer, or heal my own uncle's cancer.

But love is the spark that can start a forrest fire. We can love and be kind to each other. We can comfort those in need of a kind word. We can reach out to our neighbors. We have the power to control ourselves and our own little corner of the world. We can be open to receiving the kindest of others. 

I am not going to pretend to know the answers to all the big questions. I really don't know. And even if I thought I knew, the Buddhists would say that was all an illusion anyway.

But I know love is real. 

So, I'll believe in love.