Two weeks ago, I was finishing my last weekend of YTT, or yoga teacher training. I started my YTT journey back in October 2016 and have been practicing hard both on and off the mat to earn my 200 hour certificate, which allows me to teach yoga classes. It has taken every single minute of the past 2 weeks for me to recover from the intense physical, mental, and spiritual journey that was my YTT experience. It has taken rest, chiropractic care, and reflection but I think I am finally ready to write about it.
If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be a yogi, I would have laughed in your face. Actually, there are still moments where I think to myself, in complete shock, that I am not only a yogi, but a certified yoga teacher! But, if, like me, you read the yoga sutras, and if, like me, you walk the path of yoga in your life, none of this is surprising. In fact, yoga is probably the most obvious place for me.
Nearly 7 years ago, while struggling (oh, struggling mightily) to have a baby, I came to yoga. I would come to class and sweat, curse, cry on my mat. I would struggle and groan and leave class feeling better than I had ever felt in my life. That is still often the case. I get to my mat, I sweat, I curse, I moan and groan, and yes, sometimes, I cry. My mat is sanctuary. It is a place where I can be quiet, still. I can be annoyed, frustrated, blissful, happy, content. Yoga is, ultimately, the art of creating space in oneself. It is creating space.
As with most people, my initial understanding of yoga was the poses. Then, the breath. But those things are only 2 of the eight limbs of yoga. YTT and my teachers and my sisters in training were part of the process of helping me understand the other important parts of yoga. All 8 limbs combined, are now the guiding lights on my path.
For me, the biggest lessons were that everything is okay. Really. You are okay. All of the parts of you are okay. Bliss is big enough to hold all your good and all your bad. In fact, we should greet the good and bad in our lives with equal love, respect, and enthusiasm. You cannot have light without the darkness. Without the winter, there is no summer. Everything is okay. It is also impermanent. Am I freaking you out yet?
My goal as I move forward post training is to return to my mat and let it be. I hope to continuing the process of softening to the yin/feminine energy inside of myself and to continue to tune into universe in hopes of moving my entire life towards balance.
Yoga transformed my life. YTT took me even further down the path. My hope is that I can continue to learn and grow and share yoga with more people. And, while I will miss my teachers and sisters, I know that no matter where we go, they will always have a place in my heart.
PS Don't get it twisted. I am still a loud, enthusiastic mess. Namaste!